1 January 2005: None - I got married. I felt like my life had been resolved.
1 January 2006: Work out. Get Skinny. - Fail.
1 January 2007: Work out. Get Skinny. - Fail.
Read 52 books in a year. - Success.
1 January 2008: Finish writing my book. - Fail. Never wrote a word.
Read 20 books. Success.
Read the New Testament. - Fail. Maybe halfway.
Quit drinking pop. - Utter Failure.
Lose 25 pounds. - Fail. Lost 20 before gaining 30.
Make and keep a budget. - Fail.
1 January 2009: Don't make New Year's resolutions. - Fail.
Work out. Get Skinny. - Fail.
As is evident from my list, I have a very low success rate when it comes to New Year's resolution. Indeed, the only ones that have been successful were things that I most likely would have done anyway. Something about making them automatically sets me up for failure. It's kind of like dieting... As soon as I diet, it's the last thing I want to do. As soon as I make a resolution, I feel like someone is bossing me, like there's now some kind of immovable bondage holding me down.
It used to be that I didn't even bother with them. When you're young you don't need to resolve anything. You can just be an idiot teenager and it has minimal affect on anything. New Year's comes, and all you think about is how you've kept your streak alive: 16 years without a New Year's kiss.
But you start getting older. You lose your patented six-pack that comes with your 13th birthday, and you get to thinking. Your letting yourself go. You are going to be 400 pounds by next year. You just cannot get enough donuts. It shouldn't be like that. You should be free. Free to eat whatever you want, free to climb a hill if you want to, free to sit at the bottom and not have to feel guilty that you're not climbing it. if you want to. So you resolve in your heart to Work out. Get Skinny. At least I do.
Yes, I've joined the millions of people who tell themselves they're going to change. They're going to eat healthy, jog, do pushups, join a soccer team. I pay for a membership. Two year contract? Sure. This is lifestyle change. I'm going to be going to this gym for the rest of my life. Sign me up for ten! I can't wait for January 1 to finish, so I can get to the gym. January 2 I wait in line for the treadmill. I nod to the others, wordlessly acknowledging their noble efforts. I believe in you, I tell them with the way I move my head up and then down. They reply with a smile, or a nod, or a blank stare. Anything they can think of to say, I believe in you too. Their glares inspire me even more. I throw another pie on the barbell.
By the end of the week, I stop nodding at people. Nobody is nodding back anyway. By the end of the next, I'm too sore to go. I miss one or two work outs before forcing myself to get back into the groove. February 1, I weigh myself. I'm 3 pounds lighter. I go eat a Big Mac. Three pounds is definitely not enough for a month of work. My resolution is failed.
So last year, I decided not to make any resolutions. But I was still fat. So I tried one. - Fail.
This year, we went out for supper with Chelsee's parents on December 31. Chelsee asked her mom what her resolutions were. Julie said, "I can't make any promises, so I'm not going to say."
"New Year's Resolutions are not promises," I said without thinking, "They are more like suggestions to yourself."
The table laughed. Maxx said I should blog about that. Chelsee made fun of how mine are suggestions because I never actually do them. I did one, I told her. Yeah, reading books, she said. You read books anyway. I continued eating my cheeseburger.
The thing is...I think New Year's suggestions are WAY better than New Year's resolutions. With suggestions, there's no pressure. You don't feel like you're failing the world if you don't follow your suggestions. It's like those orange signs when you're exiting from the highway. "Suggested speed limit 40 kms while exiting." Nobody goes from 110 kms to 40 just cause the orange sign suggests it. AND no one feels guilty about it. If you do slow down, a little part of you feels pretty good about yourself. You didn't need to heed the suggestion, but you did. You are a good person. If the city resolved that it was absolutely necessary to slow down to 40 kms, nobody would ever do it, and when they got pulled over for not doing so, they'd let that cop have it. "Who in their right bloody mind would slow down 70 kms just to get to 40?! It's not even a dangerous exit," you'd say to the cop.
Yeah, New Year's suggestions are going to change the world. No more pressure. No more failures. You can't fail to do something if it's only suggested you do them. And you'll feel especially good about yourself if you actually do them.
New Year's Suggestions:
1 January 2010: Work out. Get Skinny. If you want to.
Finish your book. If you want to.
Read your Bible more. If you want to.
Watch less TV. If you want to.
Date your wife more. If you want to.
Make and Follow a budget. If you want to.
2010 is going to be great year.
Sorry I've been gone so long. Thanks for reading.
